Smithsonian National Museum of African American History and Culture Unveils New Trump-Approved Exhibit: Kanye

QUILLBILLY NEWS

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a sweeping redesign praised by former President Donald Trump, the Smithsonian’s National Museum of African American History and Culture announced Tuesday that it has eliminated all previous exhibits and now consists solely of Kanye West, seated in the middle of the building.

Louis Armstrong’s trumpet, Marian Anderson’s concert gown, Chuck Berry’s Cadillac, Harriet Tubman’s shawl, Frederick Douglass’s papers — all removed. In their place sits Kanye on a folding chair, scrolling his phone, occasionally looking up to remind visitors that “slavery was a choice.”

“Too much history was making people uncomfortable,” said a Smithsonian spokesperson while workers hauled out Emmett Till’s casket. “Trump told us what the public really wants: one man, preferably wealthy, preferably controversial, preferably wearing Balenciaga sweatpants. And here he is.”

Museum highlights now include:

• The Freedom Struggle, once a reverent archive of emancipation, is now a gaudy velvet rope encasing Kanye West, standing center stage—deep in the exhibit he turned into a confession booth—where he angrily rants that he’s “done with antisemitism” two days after dropping a song called Heil Hitler.
• The Sports Gallery, once home to Muhammad Ali and Jackie Robinson, now a single flat screen looping Kanye’s 2020 campaign rally in South Carolina.
• The Music and Culture Floor, emptied of Motown, jazz, blues, and hip hop pioneers, leaving only Kanye periodically humming “Pockets on Shrek, rockets on deck. Tell me what's next, alien sex?” under his breath.

Trump praised the overhaul, declaring: “This is now the greatest museum anywhere in the world, believe me. People don’t want to see slavery — very depressing, very unfair, frankly. Martin Luther King, I mean, nice guy, good with the ladies, but very overrated, okay? Nobody talks about that. But Kanye? Everybody loves Kanye. He’s a genius, a real genius, almost as smart as me. Everybody loves him. Except Taylor Swift — total disaster, very nasty, very ungrateful. And by the way, I made this happen. Without me, no museum. No Kanye. Everyone’s saying it.”

Asked why the museum would erase centuries of African American history in favor of a single man, a Smithsonian spokesperson responded: “It was either this or Kid Rock.”